Strong individuality! Is it a good thing? Especially in the Indian system? I know, I know, everyone's an individual and you mustn't compromise your individuality for short term benefits blah blah. But, seriously what does individuality mean? Does it meant that I will never feel for anyone or think about anyone other than me everytime I do anything, personally or professionally?
For a long time, for me individuality meant being truly selfish. My theory was fairly simple (to me); if I am truly selfish, I will only do things that will make me happy or bring out the best in me and this in turn will make people who choose to be around me comfortable. But, will that take away my emotional connect with people? Quite possible!
Also, I find it quite difficult to be truly selfish. Sometimes, I am bound to instinctively think for other people, empathise and measure my actions based on this. If I learn to medidate and control my mind, will I not become a rather cold and calculative person? Hmmm... that's a thought!
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
Thoughts in black & white
Something I read today has inspired me to write this...
Quite a few people in this age (and in ages before this) are constantly trying to understand and explore the reason for our existence. Debates run on religion, beliefs, rebirth, heaven, earth, life outside this planet and so on. Why do we do this? Is it that we are never satisfied with what we have or is it just a sense of adventure to explore?
I recently started this excercise of self-discovery where I told myself that whatever opinions I have formed about myself need to be left behind. Nothing philosophical about it, just a new feeling to explore the unknown. It was scary, exciting and lonely all at the same time. I started to write down random thoughts that went through my mind. Some warped theories, some just passing statements.
I realised that it was difficult to put these thoughts down because I was worried about what I'd find within my mind. But now, a couple of months down the line, it's not worrying anymore because as I started writing things down, I found that reading these thoughts at a later date was pretty interesting. Helped me figure out why I thought the way I did when I was in a particular frame of mind.
Why am I doing this? Honestly, it started as an idea due to situations and circumstances around me and it was more of a reaction. I might tire of it some day but now is not the time. It's still new and I am enjoying the moment...
Quite a few people in this age (and in ages before this) are constantly trying to understand and explore the reason for our existence. Debates run on religion, beliefs, rebirth, heaven, earth, life outside this planet and so on. Why do we do this? Is it that we are never satisfied with what we have or is it just a sense of adventure to explore?
I recently started this excercise of self-discovery where I told myself that whatever opinions I have formed about myself need to be left behind. Nothing philosophical about it, just a new feeling to explore the unknown. It was scary, exciting and lonely all at the same time. I started to write down random thoughts that went through my mind. Some warped theories, some just passing statements.
I realised that it was difficult to put these thoughts down because I was worried about what I'd find within my mind. But now, a couple of months down the line, it's not worrying anymore because as I started writing things down, I found that reading these thoughts at a later date was pretty interesting. Helped me figure out why I thought the way I did when I was in a particular frame of mind.
Why am I doing this? Honestly, it started as an idea due to situations and circumstances around me and it was more of a reaction. I might tire of it some day but now is not the time. It's still new and I am enjoying the moment...
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Half a day off!
Today I took off for half a day from work. Actually did this for the first time in the past 4 years where I took off pretty much not because of a pressing situation but because I wanted to take off. Vedha's (my lovable bratty 4.5 year old daughter) Dussehra holidays just began this week and I left her at my brother's (Avi) place so she could spend some time with her aunt (Rincy) and cousin (9 month old Dhira) for a couple of days. I went this morning to spend time with them and it was such a relaxing time!
It's amazing to see the bond that V & D share. They were having a whale of a time since other children in the neghbourhood are also at home because of the holidays. Vedha was supposed to head back home with me when I left but she decided that she wanted to stay back because "she hasn't used up all her change of clothes". In fact she wanted me to bring change of clothes for myself and stay with her.
The ride to Avi's place was fun for me, since I haven't been riding much these days. I put on my earphones and listened to a new radio channel on my phone all the way (Koramangala to Kasturi Nagar) so didn't realise the stress of the traffic around me and the distance.
Got to work after lunch and I actually don't really feel tired from the ride. It's a combination of the time I spent there as well as the music. Technology rocks mostly ;)
It's amazing to see the bond that V & D share. They were having a whale of a time since other children in the neghbourhood are also at home because of the holidays. Vedha was supposed to head back home with me when I left but she decided that she wanted to stay back because "she hasn't used up all her change of clothes". In fact she wanted me to bring change of clothes for myself and stay with her.
The ride to Avi's place was fun for me, since I haven't been riding much these days. I put on my earphones and listened to a new radio channel on my phone all the way (Koramangala to Kasturi Nagar) so didn't realise the stress of the traffic around me and the distance.
Got to work after lunch and I actually don't really feel tired from the ride. It's a combination of the time I spent there as well as the music. Technology rocks mostly ;)
Poems
I just re-started writing poems about 3-4 days back. I used to write poems almost 18 years back. At one point I had a book in which I had written around 150-odd poems. Sometime when we were shifting houses (and I have lived in 35+ houses so far, hmm... i'm sure it would be sort of a world-record) I lost the book. I just completely gave up writing poems thereafter. Now it almost feels like a new-found interest. More than anything else for me it's a different way of putting my thoughts dowm. Pretty much a stress-buster...
I just realised that I could try writing a few poems for my daughter, what fun!
I just realised that I could try writing a few poems for my daughter, what fun!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Communication and debates
Recently, I spent time reading up on Communication Theories and found it quite interesting. In the days of Aristotle and Plato, public debating was a common thing and it seemed to have helped people realise what they stood for or against because they could listen to different perspectives on various issues and topics.
When I get together with friends (or even acquaintances), I realise that I usually enjoy conversations on diverse topics and most often than not land up on controversial topics such as say religion or nationalism for example.
When such topics start off and hit a crescendo there is always someone in the group who is worried that this could turn out to be a fight and will try to cut the topic short. There is an uncomfortable silence immediately after this because the conversation hardly ends with logical conclusions. The idea of such conversations for me is to listen to other people's perspective on a topic and add to my understanding of that topic. Is it learning? probably to some extent.
I miss having a platform to do this regularly especially because I enjoy this type of learning since it brings to light people's experiences and what they have taken away from their experiences. Now, I am not sure if others feel the same way or is it just me :)
When I get together with friends (or even acquaintances), I realise that I usually enjoy conversations on diverse topics and most often than not land up on controversial topics such as say religion or nationalism for example.
When such topics start off and hit a crescendo there is always someone in the group who is worried that this could turn out to be a fight and will try to cut the topic short. There is an uncomfortable silence immediately after this because the conversation hardly ends with logical conclusions. The idea of such conversations for me is to listen to other people's perspective on a topic and add to my understanding of that topic. Is it learning? probably to some extent.
I miss having a platform to do this regularly especially because I enjoy this type of learning since it brings to light people's experiences and what they have taken away from their experiences. Now, I am not sure if others feel the same way or is it just me :)
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